Self | Coping with Stress

This month is Stress Awareness Month in the UK.

I don’t know how you feel about days or months being designated to particular issues and causes. Isn’t every day a day to be aware of these things? But maybe it’s important, every once in a while, to focus on something and ask ourselves what it means to us and what it means to others.

Stress is a major factor in the lives of people around the world. According to a Mental Health Foundation study, “74% of UK adults have felt so stressed at some point over the last year they felt overwhelmed or unable to cope” (2018.)

Over the past years we’ve found better ways as a country to talk about our mental health. We have positively moved from associating stigma with wellbeing problems to showing understanding and care.

As a starting point, Stress is crucial in this understanding of mental health and it’s effects.

Stress isn’t a weakness. Stress is bodily reaction to change, sudden difference, threat, anxiety or concern. It’s part of the way your body reacts when it perceives a threat.

However, this normal part of life but can become severe and overwhelming, affecting us physically and sometimes leading to more challenging mental health concerns. This is often when Stress continues over a long period of time – showing symptoms like stomach problems, headaches, chest pain, increased blood pressure.

Any of this sounding familiar?

We are in a time when so much is happening and so many stresses are around us that it’s hard for any of us not to feel stressed.

What can we do and how can we begin to cope with stress?

Throughout this month we’re going to share ideas, resources, great websites and good practice about coping with stress but for starters here’s our top five tips for managing stress and building resilience. Let us know what you think and what you do to cope with stress.

Tip # 1 - Be kind to yourself

Stress never happens at a good time and is always unwelcome. Many of us struggle with facing it. I just can’t give in to stress right now, life is too hard. If this feels familiar, be kind to yourself. We all suffer from stress and it’s normal. Don’t increase the pressure by giving yourself a hard time. Instead accept your position, your emotions and feelings and be kind to yourself - knowing that you’re enough and that you can get through this.

Tip # 2 - Stress is subjective

One of the things we often do when stressed is compare ourselves to others. How can I be stressed when these other people face this problem or that problem. Don’t be surprised when that doesn’t help. Stress is subjective and personal. We will all be stressed by different things and thats ok. It’s your stress and it’s you who is feeling it. Instead be real, accept that a situation causes you stress and look to address it.

Tip # 3 - Try to be present

It’s funny how many of the things that cause us stress are about the past or the future. Maybe we are stressed because history seems to be repeating itself - that can’t happen again. Alternatively, something may be happening which has difficult consequences for the future. Both these things remove us from the present. Try to remember the moment you’re living now. Feel your feet on the ground or your back against your chair. What can you do now, this moment. Live in a present way. It should help you.

Tip #4 - Find a strategy

Each of us have strategies for coping with life. These are the things you do to find enjoyment, peace or calm when life gets tricky. Some of these are unhealthy - such as alcohol dependence or gambling. Some of these are healthier like meditating or doing a support group. If stress is affecting you, think about finding some strategies. When are you happiest? What enables you to flourish and grow? Find two or three things that bring you back towards peace when stress gets the better of you. Mine involve simple questions I ask myself, getting in the garden and music. What would yours be?

Tip #5 - Be generous and grateful

Stress often causes us to defend ourselves. A reaction happens in your brain and we often pivot to fight, fight or freeze. These are defensive measures built into us as people. However, these measures sometimes isolate us, sometimes lead to unhealthy behaviour and sometimes increase our stress. Our tip is to pivot to ideas which bring us back to thoughtful, clear and calm ways of living. Fight or flight doesn’t always bring wise decisions. Instead being grateful has been shown to have massive positive benefits to us. Can you find three things to be grateful for today? Similarly, being generous to others has benefits to us as it helps gently bring the defences down. How might you be kind to someone else today?

Stress is real and can affect us if it carries or and becomes overwhelming. If you feel stress is a factor in your life, why not get in touch and we can offer some further help. Get in touch with the NHS or a Doctor and talk about it. The NHS: Get help with stress pages are excellent.