Living life on a constant treadmill of activities, to-do lists, social media notifications, … is exhausting. Lots of these things are good; meeting up with friends, hearing your loved ones voices on voice notes, doing the park run, redecorating the bedroom. But it can feel overwhelming, without space to pause.

As the old age adage goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

This is where our simple wellbeing tools and techniques come in. As you learn how to fill up that cup, make space to pause you can start to set the treadmill at the pace you want it to run at, not a pace defined for you by others.

At Space to Breathe our wellbeing tools are simple, designed to fit into everyday life. As you begin to find wellbeing tools that work for you, you will find a sense of calm, of connection and space to breathe in the every day.

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Making a Wellbeing Plan

Sometimes life events take us by surprise and all we can do is react. However, doing some wellbeing planning when we have time and energy can be an invaluable exercise and help us when we struggle.

At Space to Breathe we believe our wellbeing and flourishing is always a balance. What are the elements that make you tick and that help you to grow?

This article is all about creating a Personal Wellbeing Plan. It gives us hints about daily processes, triggers and signs, warning lights and forward planning.

Each section has some questions and a plan to make. It’s the sort of thing that is helpful to think through and plan when you have time, and then refer to when you need it. 
Follow through the steps below and let us know how you get on. 


First Steps

Get hold of some paper and pen, make yourself a drink and give yourself some time to reflect on how you’re doing. . Start with

the question “what does being well look like?” Then ask what helps that and what hinders that health.

Step One: Daily Process

“What we know matters but who we are matters more.” Brene Brown

This section aims to create a daily process you can follow which helps your wellbeing. Have a look at the questions below:

• What things help me feel positive about life? (I come alive when I am ...) 


• What inspires me? 


• What gives me a sense of purpose? 


• What activities give me joy?

Plan three things you can do …

Step Two: Triggers and Signs

“Anything that's human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.” Fred Rogers

We often have triggers which develop negative behaviour and signs that we are becoming stressed or unwell. This section aims to list them so we can become aware of them.

• What are the things that trigger negative behaviour in me? 


• What are the tell-tale signs that I’m becoming anxious? 


• What are the signs that I’m low and struggling? 


Write down three triggers and signs to watch for …

Step Three: Warning Lights

“Some of the most comforting words in history are me too” Unknown

This section is to clarify what struggling with mental health looks like and what helps. Use the questions below to help you reflect.

• What are the emotional or physical things which cause me concern? 


• When I’m unwell what does it normally look like? 


• When I see these signs, what normally helps? 


Write down three ways you might respond to warning signs…

Step Four: Planning

This last section gives you the opportunity to list things that will help you when you need support. Use the questions below to help you reflect.

• Who are the people who are supportive to me? 


• What treatments and professional 
help can I access that is helpful? 


• What are my safe places? 


• When I’ve struggled before, what’s helped me? 


Plan three things you’ll do when you’re struggling …

Also plan:

• Things you remember when you’ve struggled in the past that have helped you.

• Where safe places are and who are safe people to reach out and ask for support

Use the PDF Wellbeing Plan below if you’d like a format to design this plan. When you’ve finished, keep it safe and review it in a few months. When things get tough, bring out the plan and make use of the different ideas and contacts you’ve come up with.

ASKING GOOD QUESTIONS

“Judge a man by by questions rather than by his answers” (Voltaire)

One of my favourite things about young children is their ‘Why?’ questions. Sometimes this continual questioning of the reasons for things around them can be grating but I love that questioning attitude. Nothing is set in stone and all the preconceptions we have are blown away by 'why?’

The amazing thing that happens is these questions are a child’s route to understanding. Its not enough to be told something is as it is. They need to know why. Why does grass grow? Why does an apple grow on a tree? Sometimes we can’t answer but thats not the point - they need to know why to accept a reality.

It’s the same with us. We strive for peace and part of that is finding acceptance with our realities. To do that we need to know why. Why do I feel that? Why do I think that? Over the years I’ve found that asking good questions is a great way to explore our wellbeing and enable us to flourish. I wanted to set out some simple ideas that you can try at home.

asking why questions

Engaging that childlike questioning of why things are as they are is a great start. If you find yourself with a persistent emotion, thought or anxiety ask why. Why do I feel that? What is that thought still around? Then allow why questions to take you on a journey into your feelings. Maybe you feel that anxiety because of a fear you have, then why? Maybe that fear is grounded in the past, then why? etc. Check out this little mind-map approach I’ve developed.

a questioning inventory

How do you react when someone asks you ‘How are you feeling today?’

Imagine that question being asked of you right now. How might you respond? Sometimes we’ll brush the question off … ‘I’m fine!’ Sometimes we might respond in a guarded way, giving some information but not others. Sometimes we might suddenly be vulnerable or share a great deal.

Unsurprisingly we are the same about our emotions internally. Sometimes we’ll move on quickly, sometimes we’ll explore a little bit, sometimes we’ll be ready to look all the way through how we feel.

Why not use questions to prompt a regular internal inventory of how you are feeling?

I have 5 questions that I ask at least once a month.

• How have I been feeling this month, what are my dominant emotions?

• Why is this?

• How have these feelings affected my actions?

• Have any patterns developed in my behaviour, emotions or lifestyle?

• What can I do to build on the positives for the coming month?

These questions aren’t exhaustive but they help me plan and think not just about what’s to come but where I’ve been and why. They help me be aware of how I’m doing and be honest about how to respond.

Why not design your own emotional inventory. What would you ask?

questions as self-care

Questions aren’t just a good way to listen to yourself or others, they’re also a great way to care for your wellbeing and to enable you to be more resilient in tough times.

Lately we’ve seen a lot of fear reactions around us - understandably so because life isn’t easy right now. When we fear our brain responds in an area called the amygdala. A sense of threat triggers a ‘fight or flight’ reaction with stress hormones being release and the nervous system responding. We become hyper alert, our pupils dilate and our breathing and heart rates increase. We are ready to respond.

Anxiety stems from these reactions and sometimes when they become too prolonged or they happen too often. When this is the case we need to find ways to return to our rational, pragmatic and non-threat way of thinking and being. One way we can do that is to ask questions.

I came upon questions as a response through explorations of CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.) Often there are thinking patterns we get into in our anxiety. I’m under threat. I’m not safe. I will suffer if I stay here. I’m not in control.

Questions are a great way to respond to this. Maybe you could ask some of the following:

• What is in my control and what’s not?

• What is it that I’m fearing will happen? Is that likely to take place?

• Is this anxiety linked to my past? Is there reason to expect that’ll happen again?

• What is the first thing I can do (break the problem down.)

Questions like these can really help.

Why not take 15 minutes to ponder what happens when you feel anxious. What questions could you ask to ground yourself and think calmly?

BUILDING QUESTIONS INTO YOUR LIFE

These examples above are just three ways we can explore questions as a route to finding peace and flourishing in ourselves. Why not check them out and see if they help you. Add them to your toolbox of ways to support your wellbeing.

Free Personal Wellbeing Guide

It’s been a tough few years. We’ve all been through so much and there is a lot of uncertainty around about the future. How does that make you feel?

We’ve found in Sheffield that many people have found everything that’s been going on has affected their wellbeing. Often these challenges have been helped by simple grounding and reflection techniques which help us to steady ourselves once again and see life more clearly. With that in mind we’ve created a personal wellbeing guide called “Wellbeing Made Simple” which you can download below for free.

This Guide gives twelve tried and tested tools for settling and calming our wellbeing when life gets tough. These are:

• Breathing

• The Playlist

• Surroundings

• Knowing Me

• Connection with others

• The Mayday Call

• Peace Giver

• Interdependence

• Silent

• Twilight

• Balance

• Sunrise

The Wellbeing Triangle

The framework of wellbeing that we base all of wellbeing tools and techniques around is the Wellbeing Triangle. We believe, that for you to live well, live fully and live deeply, you need to live in connection with yourself, others and Other. You can find out more about these in our series of blog posts about the Wellbeing Triangle.