Knowing yourself is a skill you learn over time. As you begin to practice being still and settled with your own self, or when you learn skills like mindfulness and reflection, or when you become able to understand the way you work - all these processes will help you.

However, nothing can quite beat the impact of the support and feedback of a trusted friend. This exercise aims to do just that.

Step One

Make contact with a friend or family member you really trust. Invite them for a cup of tea and ask whether you can have a mutual conversation about each others wellbeing. The aim of this is provide each other support and to help each person to know themselves a little better.

Step Two

When you meet have time to catch up and become comfortable together. Then the main exercise is this. Ask each person to respond to these two questions, answering about the other person.

When the other person is under pressure - what do they do, how do they act and what do you notice?

When the other person is in a place of strength, joy, success or happiness - what do they do, how do they act and what do you notice?

Take it turns to share about the other person. When you are the subject of the conversation, wait and listen to the others response.

Step Three

Take five minutes to be silent, to ponder the other person’s answers.

Step Four

Questions can now be shared. The aim of this time is not to question the other person’s opinions but instead to learn about myself. Maybe ask yourself “what can I learn about myself from what has been shared.”

A brief note …

This process is a vulnerable one and we would only recommend you do this with someone you really trust. However, doing this with someone else is so valuable as it helps us to hear a different perspective on ourselves and to know ourselves better.

Why not give it a try.