The 18 January is known as Blue Monday. Andy Freeman shares an honest story of how his own wellbeing has struggled during this new Lockdown and some pointers about how reaching out for help started to change things around.

Typically in the last few years, the third Monday of January has been nicknamed Blue Monday as the ‘most depressing day of the year.'

Logic for these sorts of marker-days can be a little unclear sometimes. However the reasoning for Blue Monday is that this middle Monday falls in a long month pay-day wise (many having been paid early in December), when it’s cold and evenings are dark and in a post Christmas setting with the year stretching out in front of us.

This year Blue Monday is different. We are in the midst of another wave of a deadly pandemic, dealing with difficult news both in the UK and overseas and under the restrictions of the UK’s third lockdown. In any circumstances, these would be difficult things to deal with.

Mental Health has continued to be a high concern during these last 12 months. Evidence suggests Helplines are seeing increased calls, anti-depressant use is up and levels of anxiety and depression are increasing across the country. Maybe Blue Monday is irrelevant this year, maybe we are feeling a Blue Month or a Blue Year?

The reality is that we are all struggling in different ways. However, tough as that can be, this level of stress can also be where our hope can begin and our wellbeing can grow.

Three weeks ago I started work again after a difficult Christmas. I thought focusing on my work would help with the nagging sense of pain I was feeling. A few days in and I found I was struggling. Sleep was patchy, I was getting either stressed or sometimes teary, simple tasks where proving difficult. At the end of a week I had a particularly difficult day and something just popped. I was alone in my room, sitting infront of a laptop with the dark evening rolling in outside and I felt empty.

What do you do when you feel this way? For me as someone who works in Wellbeing there was an added shame or pressure - I shouldn’t be this way, what was going on?

Feeling troubled I rang a friend. It was the best thing I could have done.

Talking on the phone I realised a few things. I realised I had support and although this support was far away, it was real and tangible. I realised I needed to talk about how I felt - I cried, I shared how I really needed a hug, I opened up about the struggles I was having - it helped. I realised that Coronavirus had amplified all the other struggles I was feeling. It was like someone had turned the volume up on my insides. Lastly I realised that I needed a rest and some sleep.

A hastily arranged day off followed and a few things dawned.

Firstly I pondered my lack of sleep. I had assumed it was stress but maybe some other factors might be at play. I tried some different routines and low and behold I had a decent night. Sleep, diet and exercise are all crucial factors in our wellbeing and straightening them out will inevitably help us feel better.

Then I thought about working from home. I have to have a workspace in my bedroom but could I shift it around? I realised I was stuck in a corner, right next to my bed, so moved my desk to infront of a window and again, things felt a little lighter.

Thirdly I determined to be kind to myself. I was under pressure. Running a small business is hard at the best of times. Maybe I could at least control the pressure I was putting on myself, and relieve it a bit. I rejigged some goals, looked at a few different practices and again felt a little better.

The fourth and last piece was to be open. Maybe the shame I felt was part of the pressure I was placing on myself. Surely the proof of a Wellbeing organisation is not to avoid struggles, but to know what to do when they happen. The call with my friend had kickstarted some helpful routines and ideas that I knew from experience had helped others.

Looking back, I am grateful that my instinct kicked in and encouraged me to face facts and be real about how I was feeling. Self awareness is and remains the key skill that we seek to share at Space to Breathe.
I am also deeply grateful to my friend who I called (and who called again 2 days later to check I was ok.). This call was pivotal in feeling I had permission to rest and to begin to think a little clearer.

If Blue Monday or Blue Month is a tough one for you - you’re not alone. Why not reach out to a friend for help? Or reach out to us and we’d be glad to support you. This simple step of honestly saying I am struggling is usually the first step to healing and health.

Take care everyone.

Andy Freeman is the Director and Founder of Space to Breathe. You can continue the conversation with him on his Twitter page @AndyFMusings.