Ten years ago on 27 November 2011, Gary Speed was found dead in his home after having committed suicide. Speed was a talented manager and had enjoyed an illustrious playing career including spells as a player and as manager of Sheffield United.
What was so striking and shocking about his death was that during that day he had appeared normal and “in fine form”, attending TV engagements and then attending a game. No one had really seen this coming.
Silence and Men’s Mental Health
The grim reality is that many men struggle with their mental health but feel unable to share about it easily.
There are many complex reasons for this. The Mental Health Foundation note that:
“Society's expectations and traditional gender roles play a role in why men are less likely to discuss or seek help for their mental health problems. Men are often expected to be the breadwinners and to be strong, dominant and in control. While these aren’t inherently bad things, they can make it harder for men to reach out for help and open up.”
For many men, coping mechanisms such as drugs or alcohol can play a bigger part - actually often leading to depression and addiction which further fuel challenges.
These barriers to talking and opening up can sometimes lead to terrible consequences. Three times as many men die by completing suicide in the UK as women. In 2017 there were 6000 recorded deaths by suicide and 75% were men.
Reach out for help
Groups like the Samaritans are there to help you if you need to talk
If you feel suicidal at all, do reach out if you can. Here at Space to Breathe you can arrange a Wellbeing Check-In where we can signpost you to help. Your GP is a great place to start if you want to talk to someone professional. Then the Samaritans are a wonderful organisation, available 24-7 to listen to you. Just call 116 123.
FIND A WAY TO SHARE
Our biggest advice to any men struggling with their mental health is find a way to share with someone. We are getting better at talking about our mental health openly. Stories like those of Ben Stokes recently help us to see it’s ok to not be ok and indeed that many other men share similar problems.
Why not try to find one person you can share with. This first step will help you a great deal, and you’ll be amazed at the difference. Is there one person you can trust, one person you think you could start to share with?
GROUPS TO HELP YOU
In cities and towns there are more men’s mental health groups springing up which aim to be a safe place for men to share and seek help. Wherever you are we recommend you get in touch with your local MIND centre or another mental health charity and see what’s available. The Men’s Health Forum is another excellent place to find help. We can also help - if you email us and tell us where you are, we can help you find groups to help you.
In Sheffield there are a number of brilliant opportunities, here’s just a few:
The Wellbeing Hub
Every Wednesday, the Wellbeing Hub takes place at the SADACCA Day Care Centre - run by a team from Sheffield Flourish, SADACCA, SACHMA and Space to Breathe. Find out more here.
Sheffield Flourish
Sheffield Flourish have a number of brilliant opportunities to support men in their mental health and wellbeing. Check out this great article sharing more. There are loads of great ideas to support your health through the Sheffield Mental Health Guide.
Men Up North
Men Up North is a fantastic gathering of men providing varied opportunities to connect, build relationships and get support. You can check out their website here.
Andy’s Man Club
This is a brilliant Sheffield-based drop in initiative, providing space to talk for people “going through a storm, have been through a storm or have a storm brewing.” You can find them here.
We hope these ideas and opportunities give you the chance to reach out to someone. If you need some more support and a chance to chat and to be signposted to help, do contact us here at Space to Breathe. We’d love to talk to you. You can book a free Wellbeing Check-In and we’ll do the rest.
