I remember the first time someone talked to me about being present.
I was coming to terms with a great deal of anxiety and stress and a wise-friend talked to me about what I was feeling. “Have you noticed that everything you’re worrying about is either in the past or the future?” she said. “I wonder if we worked together to help you live more in the present moment, it might help.”
I remember reacting quite angrily inside. What is she talking about? These stresses and anxieties are real now and I feel them now. Why are we talking about being present when all I want to do is get away from the present.
Yet, she was a good friend and wise person and I knew that I couldn’t say all I thought. In fact there was a small part of me that wondered, what have I got to lose. I consented and unbelievably it helped. It wasn't;t quick and wasn’t easy, but it helped.
The central premise of approaches like Mindfulness or Meditation across the ages is that we don’t spend very often being present in our lives and that if we did we might enjoy them more and feel better in ourselves.
This is easier said that done. How can I be truly present with all the thoughts in my head, all the deadlines in my inbox and all the realities of my life? Yet this is also the reality we discover - I spend a lot of time in the past and in the future.
I spend time in the past…
Worrying about things that have happened to me or things I’ve done. Anxious that if I’m not careful those things that have happened to me might happen again. Stressed out by the pain that past things have had on me and carrying that pain around as I go.
I spend time in the future …
Worrying about the implications of things and concerned about events that might happen. If I don’t raise enough money what about that bill? If that happens to me then I won’t be able to do this. What will happen if these things happen in the future? How will I cope?
But if I spend time in the present …
The present is all I have. If i can be safe, calm and well here I will be ok.
The past cannot touch me because it has already gone. The ripples of the past are part of who I am but in the present I can try and find some peace with them. The repetitions of history - worrying that the past will happen again - they cannot touch me in the present because they haven’t repeated as of now. That is in the future, and out of my control.
The future cannot touch me in the present because it has yet to happen. Spiritual teacher and thinker Brennan Manning once wrote that we worry about things that will never happen. Our brains create scenarios of the future and we worry about them coming true. Yet most often they don’t. Again the future is out of our control, we are unable to touch it.
In the present I can find myself and the living, breathing moment of now.
I can ask “what is in my control?” Is there anything in this moment, I can do about the things I’m worrying about. If there is then it is only the next step and only in present. The past cannot be changed, the future is still to come. The present breaks down my worries into smaller parts, making it easier to deal with.
So what can i do right now?
A while ago we created some free meditations for everyone. You can find them on this website and download them. One of them was called “Surroundings Meditation” and it’s below. Why not take some time to be present, to find calm and reality in the now. Let the living breathing moment be something safe, calming and even joyous to you. Right now you are living.
“This meditation can be done anywhere and involves embracing ourselves in our surroundings. Wherever you are, be aware of your body and how it connects to where you are. This could be your feet on the ground. Your bottom on a seat. Your back against a tree. Be aware of your head, neck, spine, legs, feet. Are you holding any stress or pressure? Be aware of it and if you can relax.
This meditation is about being present. Be you in this moment, in contact with the ground and where you are.
You’re alive and part of this world. Because of that you matter. You feel, think and are involved. Other things and people depend on you.
Use this meditation to learn how to be present in the moment.
What do you feel? Is that feeling happy or sad? What are you experiencing right now? What things are stopping you from being present (worries, pain, tiredness.) Make a conscious effort to be present today.”