One of the most consistent themes I’ve encountered during this third lockdown is self compassion. We find it hard to look at ourselves and the challenges we face.

Over these past months I’ve heard people talk of how they are disappointed with themselves, worried that they’re struggled or concerned that they’re not meeting the aims they may have set themselves. When I respond with kindness, reminding them that life is incredibly pressured right now there is sometimes surprise - why is that?

Many writers, singers and poets have contemplated the question of loving and valuing yourself. This is a hard task which is proven by experience - we find it hard to look at ourselves with the same sense of compassion we give to others.

Think to yourself:

How often do I recognise when I do something well?
How often do I look at myself in the mirror and see someone beautiful?
How often do I find I look inside myself and like what I see?

Research identifies self compassion as those who “ treat themselves with kindness and concern when experiencing negative events.” (Allen & Leary, 2010)

Being kind to yourself might mean giving yourself some time off, encouraging yourself in what you’re doing or practicing forgiveness to yourself when things go wrong.

We are all flawed but you deserve and merit that same self of self-love and worthiness. You are doing ok. You’ve got this far. You are wonderful.

In the book “The Kindness Cure” (Robin Flanigan 2017), we see that being critical of yourself creates a sensation of feeling stuck - it’s very hard to move on from a disappointment or negative experience. But if we can replace this criticism with self-compassion then people can begin to find ways to accept that “you are flawed in a gentle way” and that can be a significant boost to our wellbeing.

Why not step off the treadmill for a moment and consider this quote from Brene Brown…

Read this several times with a positive outlook. Despite all that happens in life you are worthy to receive love and belonging. Try and step into that today. You are enough. You can do this.