What do you value?

What do you enjoy?

What brings you energy and rest?

These were some of the questions we asked in activity one of our simple connection wellbeing tool a couple of weeks ago.

When you know the answer to these questions, it can make saying no simpler.

Why is that important?

There are a number of different reasons why saying no can be hard, and we’ll be looking at those tomorrow, but saying no is important because it means you are also saying yes. Saying yes to those values, to your rest and recuperation and as this quote says, to your important people.

That doesn’t mean that you always need to say no. But when you define the answers to these questions it can help you to work out when it’s absolutely a yes and when you really should be saying no.

That also doesn’t make it easy. Next week, we’ll be sharing some simple ways you can start to practice to say no.

But it is important to learn when you need to say no, so that you can say yes. Yes to the things that are truly important and of value.

Saying yes too often to everyone and everything else can increase your stress levels; leave you feeling overwhelmed and over-committed; stir up anxiety or feelings of guilt; make you feel like you’re juggling too many balls and on the verge of dropping them all. There can be different causes for these different feelings and you will likely have different motivations behind why you say yes to the next person who reads this blog.

As we begin this week thinking about saying no in order to foster resilience and wellbeing, take a couple of minutes to ask yourself these questions:

Do I find it easy or difficult to say no?
What is it that makes me say yes to other people?
Do I wish I said no more often?
Think of a few examples where you have said yes to someone or something recently. Now ask, what have I said no to when I’ve said yes to that person or thing? [time, relationships, rest, health]