EMPATHY NOT SYMPATHY

In this week’s blog, we will be focusing on how you can support those around you using empathy and not sympathy. 

Brene Brown states ‘empathy fuels connection, sympathy derives disconnection’. 

What is empathy? 

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and understand the situation from their perspective. It is to feel what the other person is feeling. 

What is sympathy? 

Sympathy, on the other hand, is the expression of pity, sorrow or compassion towards someone or a situation. 

While sympathy may sound like it is a good thing to express, empathy is the approach that we should take when listening to others and trying to help them. Expressing sympathy, although while having pure intentions, can sometimes have the wrong effect as it can lead people to feel misunderstood or even belittled. However, empathy can lead to better communication and understanding and this can then lead to a healthy discussion about how to support someone who is in need of some help. 

How can we adopt an empathetic approach?

  • Listen to understand - Often when someone is speaking to us, we listen and formulate a response in our minds, at the same time. However, simply just listening to the person first can be very helpful in understanding them and where they are coming from.

  • Phrase your responses carefully - Often, we can fall into the trap of what Brene Brown calls ‘silver lining’ a bad situation instead of letting the person know that we understand them. Phrasing your responses like ‘I wish you didn’t have to go through that’ or ‘I can’t imagine what that must feel like, but it sounds hard’ can be really beneficial and helpful in making someone feel heard.

  • Careful observation - Sometimes, we may not realise, but those around us may be struggling with someone and they may be in need of a helping hand. Observing people carefully through noticing and remembering little details about them, can help you spot when someone needs help sooner rather than later, putting you in a position to support them early on. 

TRY THIS… 

  • During this week, try to listen intentionally to the people around you from a standpoint of empathy 

  • Rather than trying to fix or solve things, try one of the three things listed above.

  • Reflect on the impact this has on them. Reflect on the impact this has on you.