Recognising the power we have by Ben Harper

In every great plot line, there’s a character that overcomes some adversity; maybe something terrible has happened to them or maybe they’ve been born into less than perfect conditions. Think Simba in the Lion King, Charlie in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or Jack in Jack in the Beanstalk. In these plot lines, the character must find some help, some inner resource, some opportunity that allows them to become a winner rather than a victim. These stories are all designed to provide hope, optimism, and inspiration to us as we navigate our own life events or less than perfect conditions.

These stories are perhaps very different to our own (I can’t remember the last time I had escape the clutches of an evil uncle or run from a giant), and they might also have simpler solutions than those that we might need. Life is often a bit more complex than the world of fairy tales.   

When challenging events happen or circumstances pile up around us, we can feel stripped of power to do anything about them, but what the fairy tales teach us is that we served best by seeing what we can do and doing it, rather than simply believing ourselves to be the victim of circumstances. Please don’t mishear me. I’m not suggesting that the challenges you have faced, do face and will face are not hard. And I’m not suggesting you just ‘suck it up and get on with it’. But what I am suggesting is that we are served best by is recognising what power and opportunities we do have.

Viktor Frankl was a psychologist who lived through life in a concentration camp during the second world war. He went on to write about his experiences and support those who had also survived. He wrote

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

This man had endured some of the hardest of life’s circumstances but survived by choosing not to become a victim. By choosing to see what he could change, and what he couldn’t.

We always have the choice to talk kindly to ourselves, we always have the chance to talk to someone who will listen and we (nearly) always have the choice to take time out to do nice things for ourselves. Over time, we also have the choice to invest time in connecting with ourselves, others and ‘Other’; many of the resources we produce for Well? will help you to do that.

We become more empowered when we start to believe in our ability to affect, influence (even in small ways) the little things around us. We become more empowered when we see what we can do.

TRY THIS

Ask yourself these questions …

• What feels challenging for you at this time?

• What would self care look like as you face this challenge?

• What power DO you have?

• What help IS available?

• What will you do next?