Resolving something different
It’s the time of year when many of us consider making (big or small) tweaks to our life in the form of New Years resolutions.
The newness of the New Year does provide a great impetus for us to reconsider things and if you’re one for resolutions - good luck and we hope they are really positive. YouGov found that many resolutions focus on aspects of a healthy lifestyle (more exercise, better diet, stopping an unhealthy habit), with other common resolutions being about spending time in more virtuous ways.
However, if you’re a little unsure this year can we suggest a different way to resolve things? It might not surprise you to hear that a 2019 YouGov survey found that only 24% of people who made resolutions managed to keep them, with no further data on how quickly the other 76% gave up. This new idea of a new idea feels like a new broom but inevitably the old year comes with us in many ways and we can sometimes set ourselves up for a fail.
There are six recognised reasons why new resolutions often don’t work and we’ve tried to put a positive step to each of them to find a different way of doing things this year.
Reason 1
Maybe if we’re honest we’re not yet ready for change. You might see the need for it, but you’re not really convinced that the change is important or necessary enough.
Response:
Get yourself more ready by considering what positive difference making that change would really make. Ask yourself; do you REALLY want that? Why? Make sure the change you’re seeking is important enough for you. Also accept that sometimes it’s not the right time to make some changes or you don’t need to! There are other legitimate priorities and it’s ok for you to choose them.
Reason 2
The change you’re looking at might suit someone else more than you. This means the ‘reward’ for the change isn’t inside you, but outside you. As soon as that person doesn’t notice or appreciate the change you’ve made, you’ll become demotivated and discouraged.
Response:
Check in with yourself that the change you want to make will make a difference for YOU and has benefits and gains for you, not just others.
Reason 3
You might have too much to lose by changing. Every gain has losses. You go to the gym more, you have less time do other things. You eat more vegetables; you need less chocolate. Many of the changes we seek mean we lose things we’re not yet ready to lose.
Response:
Spend some time REALLY focussing on the gains. Imagine them. Amplify them. Draw them. Write about them. Speak about them. You need to be able to see, taste, feel the possible difference the change will make BEFORE you make the change.
Reason 4
There’s a change you want to make but you’ve found it hard to be specific about it. Committing to watch less TV, makes sense but is a hard one to quantify and the vague nature of a target . Vague ‘targets’ about stopping something are generally ineffective.
Response:
Make sure you articulate as clearly and specifically as possible what you do want rather than what you don’t want. ‘I want to have more energy and feel lighter so I’m going to eat 5 pieces of fruit every morning’ is far better than ‘I don’t want to eat unhealthily’
Reason 5
Maybe you lack support. There isn’t enough of the help of other people who can encourage you and cheer you on.
Response:
Make a start on enlisting the help of others. These aren’t people who are going to wag their finger at you when you slip up, rather people who are going to check in and help you see the positive effects and forthcoming benefits of your new choices. They’re also the kind of people who might join you in part of your quest, although it’s important not to get them to make changes that they’re not committed to themselves (see number 1!)
REASON 6
You lack self belief. Perhaps you feel you’ve got a track history of not been able to sustain things or have low confidence. Henry Ford famously said “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right’.
Response:
Build up your confidence by making small changes, and then gathering ‘new evidence’ of your ability to make changes. Draw to mind times when you have managed to make even small adjustments to habits or ways of doing things.
You can find out more about YouGov’s 2019 research here.