Making Sense of these Times by Andy Freeman

These are indeed strange times.

2020 will long be remembered as the year that the world’s population was united in trying to overcome the Coronavirus pandemic. Sport played with no crowds. Elections organised by post. Work done from home. Social distancing joining our usual vocabulary.

At time of writing my eldest son has just returned home from a work trip to the Middle East. He is upstairs as I write, quarantining for 14 days. Meals are placed outside his door, door handles cleaned when he uses the bathroom. We haven’t even hugged since his return.

These are indeed strange times.

This month we are thinking about remembering well. This sometimes gives the idea we go way back into our past to remember, or to consider times and people lost. However, remembering well also involves our recent past - and the question is ‘how do we remember these times as we go through them?’ What is a healthy way to make sense of the circumstances we are in?

There have been many ideas and great resources shared on this subject. As we get towards the end of 2020 I wanted to suggest four things that might help us.

‘Over-thinking’

A friend once bought me a mug that had written on it - ‘over-thinking person over-thinking things.’ Anyone who knows me well knows how accurate this statement is.

As we’ve gone through the pandemic there’s been millions of articles and commentaries considering the future. What will ‘the new normal’ be? What will the future look like? How will this change us?

The reality is, right now we don’t know. If you have a tendency to think into the future, to analyse and to predict, I would encourage you to curb that tendency for a while. Or at least hold it gently.

We’ve often described these circumstances like a snow-globe being shaken up. That metaphor suggests we need to have time to let things settle. Why not plan a few weeks rather than a few months ahead? What about holding next year lightly. “Lets see” could be a useful mantra.

Giving space to ‘other’

In our Wellbeing Triangle we make mention of the concept that some aspects of our wellbeing are added to by a sense of ‘the other.’ This is an idea that’s hard to break down initially but its something we know. ‘Other’ is that thing that means we cry at something beautiful, or that the hairs on the back of our neck stand on end when we experience something incredible. Its the thing that rises in us when we love. It’s wonder, awe, beauty. Some people might call it spirituality. It’s that space for the soul within us.

Researcher David Hay suggests that many of us use the sense of ‘other’ to ‘make sense of the world around us’ (Hay/Hunt 2002.). Practices like Mindfulness give us the ability to stop, reflect and begin to see what the world around us is like. We often use the phrase ‘getting off the treadmill.’

Why not explore what ‘other’ looks like to you at the moment and make some space for it. If this feels confusing, get outside into nature and be curious. Sit in silence for a period of time. Be creative. Give time to notice things. See what happens.

Control

Human beings are built with a system of self-protection. We are good at sensing danger. As a result we often go into something called ‘fight or flight’ where we deem it prudent to either resist or run. When things are threatening to us we need a way to stop and analyse.

For many people the question “what is in my control and what is not” is a great starting point.

This image (created for young people) that I saw online recently is brilliant.

Make a Plan

This last idea is one we’ve considered often.

When times are weird, strange or difficult it’s good to make a plan. We loved this graphic shared recently on Facebook by Believe Perform.

What ways are you remembering and making sense of these times? Why not have a chat with us on Twitter @space2breathe and share what it all means to you.

Andy Freeman is Director and Founder of Space to Breathe. You can connect with him on Twitter (@AndyFMusings) and on LinkedIn if you’d like.