WHAT IS RESILIENCE BY BEN HARPER

There are many things that put our sense of wellbeing at risk; everyday stressors, too much change at once, difficult relationships, pressure from work or family, financial difficulties, health problems. Few people get through life without experiencing at least some of these things at some point. Add in there traumatic events or a particular genetic predisposition to a mental health condition and you’re risk of poor wellbeing is even higher. It doesn’t however mean it’s guaranteed, and it certainly doesn’t mean you won’t cope ‘well’ in spite of it.   

What’s important when this ‘stuff’ happens is that we have things that make us feel resilient.

The things we do, and the people we get support can make us more ‘resilient’ to the challenges we face. Resilience is about resisting, protecting and bouncing back in the face of adversity. It doesn’t always mean the challenges go away or get any less, but resilience is about finding the things that give us the strength to carry on and push through.

Resilience isn’t something you either have or don’t have. It’s built, grown and developed. Whether we’re currently in the midst of a challenging time, or everything is ‘hunky dory’ right now, it’s never a bad time to be investing.

Resilience is a bit like getting a ship ready for a journey on the open seas, or watering the roots of a tree in preparation for all weathers. It’s built or grown behind the scenes. It’s built or grown not because we welcome the storms,  but because we know life will bring them anyway.

When we find ourself in the midst of a storm, we don’t neglect the ship or the roots, in fact we invest all the more in keeping them healthy to give ourselves the best chance of getting through.

• We make time and space to do things that bring us life and energy; hobbies, interests, passions, the things we are good at.

• We spend time with people who make us laugh, smile and feel good. We develop friendships where we can share deeply and vulnerably with one another.

• We spend engaging with something bigger, greater, more than ourselves, and we practise gratitude for it. (We call this connection with ‘Other’). Time in nature, time engaging with stories that take us beyond ourselves (autobiographies, sacred texts), time remembering better times that have been and hope in better times to come.

None of these things will stop the challenges coming. None of these will necessarily make the challenges go away, but they may just equip you with the strength, energy and hope you need in the midst of it. The thing about all these things is that unlike some of the challenges we might face they are (at least in part) things we can chose. We have that within our control.

TRY THIS…

Ask yourself these questions today:

• What will you do to invest in your resilience today?

• What time will you give to discovering more of what brings you life and energy?

• What relationship will you invest a little bit more in?

• What does it mean for you to connect with ‘Other’?