The Safety to be you

In this week’s blog Ben Harper explores the ways psychological safety can help us to feel safe and secure to be ourselves.

So, a confession….

I like to hang out with people who agree with me. It’s less stressful. Easier. 

I also get more done when I’m not being questioned, challenged, interrupted with alternative viewpoints. But I’ve discovered something which I think I need to also confess. I’m not always right. I sometimes get things wrong; I sometimes misjudge things.

Now this may just be me … but if that resonates at all, the concept of psychological safety which we’re looking at today may be really helpful. Read on.

Psychological safety is the ‘belief that you won't be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes’. It’s a marker in some of the most successful organisations. It’s a marker in some the most successful personal relationships. It’s created when we recognise that we can only ever have a limited viewing point when looking at a situation. It’s created when we recognise that others will be able to see things we can’t.

Psychological safe spaces are needed for us to feel that we can be real, because real people aren’t perfect all the time.  We will also need to create psychologically safe spaces in order for people to be real with us. 

We don’t always get the choice whether or not somewhere feels psychological safe for us or not, but it’s important for our wellbeing that we spend the majority of our time in places where we do have it. Working, living, socialising in spaces that not psychological safe can be stressful and we will need to balance that out by having spaces where we do feel able to real. If that’s your reality, consider what support you have in place to help you.

We do however get to choose whether we create psychological safety for others though; personally and professionally.

Why not try these actions to help create safety …

• Be more curious and invite people to give you their viewpoint by asking more questions and then really listen when they do.

• In response to different viewpoints use phrases like ‘That’s an interesting perspective’, ‘Thanks for that’, ‘I can see what you mean’ before counteracting their view. Even better, don’t counteract their view and say ‘I’ll go away and give that some more thought’ and do!

• Be ready to accept your own mistakes and admit to them. This will make people feel more able to admit theirs. 

• Be ready to work on learning from mistakes rather than attributing blame or fault to yourself or others

These things are attitudes and habits that over time make people feel more and more able to be real with you. I have found, am finding and committed to continuing to find out the benefits of being a psychological safe person. It means I sometimes get less done than I would like, but I’m learning that some people around me are wiser than I ever thought😉