Telling our story

It seems unreal. A whole nation, suddenly, and without warning asked to stay at home and have no contact with anyone apart from those in their own household. Two weeks, two days or even two hours before, we would never have imagined it. But it happened, and it’s already hard to believe how quiet the streets were, how incarcerated we all felt and how panicked we were about loo roll.

The last two years have brought a whole mixture of experiences, but as we mark two years since ‘it’ all started, and are now working out what it means to learn to live with ‘it’, it could be helpful to stop and take stock. There have been losses, gains and everything in between. Life has moved on as it would have done anyway, but it’s moved on with a most unusual backdrop.

Telling our own story of the last two years could be an important step in helping us to move on well. Stories have long been a way of making sense of complex situations and feelings. We often indulge ourselves in other people’s stories through film and television as a way of exploring aspects of what it means to be human, but telling our own personal story could have a powerful affect on our mental health and wellbeing.

Telling your own story is a way of ordering and rationalising your experiences. The process encourages you to formulate a clearer understanding of what has happened, making it easier to ‘file’. Without doing this, our brains and bodies may well be holding our experiences in a disorganised way which can create stress. Telling our own story helps us to reconcile any apparent contradictions (For example, I felt lonely to be on my own, but relieved to have more space and time to study).  Telling our own story helps us to note more clearly the losses and gains, which make grieving and celebration more possible. It also releases us to begin to ‘write’ a new chapter. 

It’s also true that telling our own story often involves us naming our emotions. Phycologists suggest that naming our emotions can move them from our gut to the left hemisphere of our brain which is responsible for planning and processing information. Telling our story gives our feelings a ‘voice’.   

Telling our story needs space. Space to step back and engage. Space that is protected from interruptions, and space that feels safe. Telling our story will involve trying out different words, editing and redrafting until we find the words that ‘best’ name what story we need to tell. This might be done on our own or with others. It might even be done with the support of a therapist or counsellor. It might be done orally or in written form. It might be done with a combination of all of these. 

Our story can be shared or not. Telling our story to others often gives them permission or encouragement to do the same, but it’s not essential. Stories are personal, and should be shared with discretion. 

Whatever story you have been living over the last couple of years, it’s important to know that the final chapter hasn’t yet been written. There are more chapters to write, but for now, let’s give this chapter the airtime it needs. 

TRY THIS …

Getting started writing our story can be hard. Consider these things as a prompt. Use as many of them that are helpful and disregard any that aren’t relevant.

  • What do you remember about the first lockdown? 

  • What changes did it cause in your daily routine?

  • With whom and how did you communicate?

  • What were the gains? What were the losses? 

  • As lockdown continued, what challenges did you face? 

  • What helped you overcome those challenges? What resources did you draw upon?

  • What do you remember about what was it like as restrictions eased?

  • Who did you reunite with, and who didn’t you reunite with? 

  • What did you return to doing, and what did you not return to doing?

  • What have you still not returned to doing?

  • What was it like going back into lockdown? 

  • What were the implications for your relationships and work?

  • What was it like when restrictions eased again? 

  • Looking back over the last couple of years; 

  • What events, occasions or celebrations have you managed to do/not do?

  • What now remains as things have eased?  

  • What is now lost as have things have eased?