BEING FULLY YOU

About six years ago I was working on an Undergraduate training course in Oxford. The course centred around imaginative leadership, social entrepreneurship and was an ideas factory for new projects and initiatives. It was an inspiring place to be involved.

The course leader, Jonny, had a saying at that time which really captivated me.

He told me, “Andy your only job is to be a little bit more you everyday.”

I can’t tell you how empowering it is to hear your boss tell you something like that. We have all, I’m sure, worked in environments where we need to adapt to a certain culture, curb our ideas or bow to pressure or process. Those moments, where we don’t feel psychologically safe to be ourselves can suppress our imagination, drive and confidence.

But instead Jonny chose to trust me. He believed in the person he met at interview and he wanted me to be myself - but more fully.

When we talk about flourishing this month I’d love it if you kept this simple idea in mind. I don’t want to encourage you to be more confident, bold, adventurous, active, creative or outspoken - unless thats exactly who you are.

Jonny’s words would be this …

How can you be a little bit more, you, everyday.

The mental health and wellbeing scene has grown exponentially over the last decade. There has probably never been a time when we can be more open about our mental health.

However, many of these discussions can be about problems or challenges. We speak out because we have a problem to face. We talk about lost millions of pounds in sickness from work or the cost to the NHS.

Flourishing is a different way of looking at mental health. It says we are all striving to be ourselves. It says good wellbeing is being a little bit more me everyday. It says a culture of wellbeing encourages the psychological safety for people to be themselves.

This is a mental health discussion where everyone is involved.

A health warning

Over the last few years it’s been my pleasure to make friends with Graham Tomlin. Graham is the Bishop of Kensington and in that role, provided inspirational support and kindness to the people of Grenfell after the fire there three years ago.

Graham is just about to release a book called “Why Being Yourself is a Bad Idea And Other Countercultural Notions.”

Graham’s book may well debunk everything I’ve written above. But I don’t think so.

It does however bring a health warning. This month’s resources are going to boldly make the case for human flourishing. We are going to be confident in encouraging self understanding and self expression. But the thing is that comes with a challenge.

The more we look in on ourselves the more we will inevitably see stuff we’re not sure about. If we merely speed forward, simply being ourselves we miss the point that Jonny makes. He’s suggesting change too. Lets see who we are and move towards that more.

I like to think, for example, that kindness is a part of my character I want to cherish and encourage. I want to be kinder, a little more each day. But in recognising that I have to accept that often I’m unkind, selfish and lacking in patience. I need to accept this, then I can change.

Self expression and self-confidence isn’t a blank cheque to be you at any cost. What we are considering here is that deep, heartfelt, soulful sense of self that may feel elusive to us often. I want to be kind, yet often I’m not.

What would happen if we all sort to aim for that sense of self we see as truly us? Ourselves on a good day and in a good place. That feels like the sort of human flourishing I can really get behind.