Creating Space for Others

By Andy Freeman & Ben Harper

When we consider creating space for our wellbeing, one thing we might not think of initially is making space for others. Maybe wellbeing and mindfulness suggests a solitude or a working alone which is only half the picture.

In our wellbeing triangle we emphasise the idea that authentic connection with other people is a key part of how we flourish. We need to understand ourselves, we seek some sense of other for strength or inspiration but we also know we grow through knowing other people.

When was the last time you consciously made space for friends? When we are busy it’s hard to prioritise things like a socially distant walk or a chat via phone or video call. These times through are often crucial as we share our lives with trusted people and see that we grow and we also give to others.

In recent weeks I’ve been blessed by the kindness of others as I responded to a tough time in my life. It reminded me of the training Ben gives to people on our Soulful Wellbeing Days about the languages with which we receive and give support. Ben writes:

We usually grow in relationship with people we appreciate in some way. They give us something we value or need; laughter, wisdom, care, understanding. For those we most appreciate, we will naturally find ourselves expressing that appreciation, but are we speaking the right language?

When I first came across Gary Chapman’s concept of ‘love languages’, it was like a revelation. We also find this concept really resonates with people at our school staff ‘Soulful Wellbeing’ days.

Chapman suggests that there are five different ways people communicate their love and appreciation to one another. Each of us have a preference.

We are most likely to express our appreciation in the way we’d like appreciation shown to us. The problem with this? It can be like speaking different languages. We, at Space to Breathe, refer to these languages as ‘languages of connection’ to emphasise the importance of connection with others in supporting our wellbeing.   We think it has an application for the home, workplace and our communities.

The key is to understand our own preference, recognise people’s efforts when they speak in a different language and work towards becoming ‘multi-lingual’ in the way we communicate our appreciation. 

CREATE SPACE

Take some space & time now to consider your friends, family or those who you have trusting relationships with. Could you make some space today to reach out to someone? How can you care for them in their language of connection? How might you receive from them in yours.

Read about the five languages of connection below and have a chat with about what theirs is and how your language of connection works.

Becoming multi-lingual can make more of our relationships more satisfying for both parties. It empowers us to receive and show appreciation in ways that simply ‘make more sense’. It allows us to appreciate one another more fully. It grows our sense of connection with others.