MAKING A SAFE SPACE FOR OTHERS BY BEN HARPER

Who do you know that’s a great host?

I am blessed to have a few sets of friends who are great at creating a really hospitable space for their guests. Being at their homes is always a treat, and you can’t help coming away feeling fed in so many ways. 

Creating space for others is so important, but doesn’t always involve top notch cooking, and endless drinks. Creating space for others is so much more than this. 

At Space to Breathe, we spend our working lives considering how we can create safe, hospitable places that literally give people some space to breathe. We believe giving people these ‘spaces’, leads to greater wellbeing and flourishing and it’ such a privilege to see the effects of this when we get it ‘most right’.

I’ve been reflecting on what’s going on when we get it ‘most right’, and I reckon the things we do are important in any relationship where we want to other person to flourish.  Have a look through my list and consider what this might look like in your relationships.

·       We invite people to participate, rather than demand participation. People access our ‘spaces’ and activities at their own pace and time. This helps people retain their own sense of control, and ownership of their inner journey.

·       We try to listen carefully to what people are saying. This involves listening beyond the words that are being spoken, taking in their body language and tone of voice.

·       We look for opportunities to affirm people. This involves reflecting back what we hear, and validating their experience. It also involves us communicating our genuine care, belief in the intrinsic ‘goodness’ of the person and communicating this in words, body language and tone of voice.

·       We offer wisdom humbly, not assuming that we have all the answers. We invite people to dialogue with us about how any wisdom offered lands with them.

·       We trust people to make use ‘good use’ of their experiences with us, but place no further demands on them.

Have a look at these five headings and consider which one’s you think are most important? Are there any that you’d add to the list?

Some of these ideas are based on the strengths and weaknesses of our team. I wonder which one’s you think you might be best at? Which one’s might you need more practice at?

TRY THIS

Reflect again on these five headings:

  • Inviting people to participate

  • Listening

  • Affirming people

  • Offering wisdom humbly

  • Trusting people

Consider …

  • What places and spaces do you know that offer this?

  • Who do you know who might benefit from these ideas?

  • How might it help their wellbeing and health?

  • What role might you play in providing space like this to others?