The Vulnerability of Taking Stock

Article by Andy Freeman

Thanks so much for joining in with Well? over the past month.

We’ve been considering the subject of Taking Stock - something which is very close to my heart.

Reflecting on yourself, on your past and future and developing health habits of self-reflection - these are hard tasks. It’s far from easy to look at yourself with honesty and to see not just the positives but also areas of challenge as well. No one really see’s this honest you and many of us hide our real selves even in our own thoughts and consciousness.

In 2017 we ran a little campaign called The Silence Challenge. We encouraged participants to spend 5 minutes in silence each day and repeat the exercise for a month. We simply suggested “see what happens.”

What emerged surprised and fascinated me. Many people enjoyed times of silence and peace. For a lot of people this had been a common practice before the campaign. However, for those doing this for the first time they also became aware of their inner voice and thoughts - and for some this was hard.

Melville (2006) talks about silence being an opportunity to hear what he calls “self-generated cognition” or to listen to our “inner monologue.” It’s literally a place where we can hear ourselves think.

For participants in the Silence Challenge this was both beautiful and challenging. People began to hear their own joy and happiness but also their insecurities. This was a safe place, but a vulnerable one.

And that vulnerability brings me to the theme of Taking Stock.

Reflecting inwards on yourself and becoming aware of where you are and what you are feeling is vulnerable.

As I reflect on myself in 2021 I find I’m growing in confidence and becoming happier with myself. However, as I reflect I also see the areas of my life where even at 51, I feel I need to learn a lot. It is hard to see these things. Why can’t I master that part of my character or come to terms with that weakness. To see that I’m not perfect is a vulnerable place - but it is also a strong place.

Firstly this kind of vulnerability is strong because it grows self-awareness. As we’ve mentioned many times on this website - if we become self-aware then we can change and grow. It is only when I accept myself as I am that I am then able to flourish, grow and change.

Secondly this kind of vulnerability is strong because it is humble. It realises that even though I love and accept myself, I have areas of weakness. It means I can be more aware in those places and realise sometimes the right thing to do is say sorry. This vulnerability is honest and real.

Thirdly this kind of vulnerability is strong because out of it relationships are formed. I really encourage you to watch Brene Brown’s TED talk featured in this week’s resources. She cites the power of vulnerability as the place where good healthy relationships start.

Vulnerability is a hard, open and tough place to be. But it’s worth it.

We hope these resources and ideas that we’ve featured this month will take you on a vulnerable, honest but hopefully healthy and joyful journey to learn more of yourself and to accept yourself as you are. Taking stock of who we are and reflecting on ourselves in honesty is a vital step in our journey of flourishing.

I’ll leave you with a few words from Brene Brown on this subject.

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

Brene Brown